Anonymous asked:

I've know this kid my whole life. I've had a crush on him since second grade. We're best friends. I wanna tell him I like him, a lot, but I'm afraid he won't, and I'll make our relationship weird. He has a girlfriend, but he's telling me that he doesn't feel anything for her anymore. Help !

I would say just focus on being his friend. If he is truly unhappy with his relationship, then he will eventually get out of the relationship. You don’t want to be the reason for their break up because she may like him a lot. Just let things run his course and make yourself available for him. Don’t let him lead you on, however. You are an independent person and there’s no need for you to wait around for him.

Anonymous asked:

I've know this kid my whole life. I've had a crush on him since second grade. We're best friends. I wanna tell him I like him, a lot, but I'm afraid he won't, and I'll make our relationship weird. He has a girlfriend, but he's telling me that he doesn't feel anything for her anymore. Help !

I would say just focus on being his friend. If he is truly unhappy with his relationship, then he will eventually get out of the relationship. You don’t want to be the reason for their break up because she may like him a lot. Just let things run his course and make yourself available for him. Don’t let him lead you on, however. You are an independent person and there’s no need for you to wait around for him.

Anonymous asked:

This boy I like is around 3 years older than I am. We've kissed before, but he doesn't want a relationship. I've tried to get over him, but every time I speak to him, he just reels me back in. Should I ignore him? Or should I keep talking to him, and wait for him to like me?

In your heart you know that he’s only using you for sexual gratification. If that’s all you need too, then keep doing what you’re doing. If you want a legitimate relationship, then find it with someone else. If you break it down to how you truly feel at the core of everything, you’ll realize it’s not difficult.

Addiction.

Addictions can be tricky and at the end of the day it’s just a matter of definition. No one “has” an addiction like something we can see. It’s a set of behaviors that has to fall inside of a model that we create.

1. It is a deviant from the population.
2. The behavior is maladaptive.
3. It causes stress for the patient.

People can be addicted to watching TV, religion, gambling, or even cleaning. So long as it fits those three components, the behavior is addictive.

Through experience, I’ve found that the only form of therapy that makes sense is cognitive. People engage in addictive behavior to fill a void. In the long run, the last component (it will eventually cause them stress) only makes the void larger. Therapists MUST work on the underlying problems with the patient and then breaking the habit. We must realize that the difference between a habit and an addiction is that there isn’t much underlying psychological scaring in a habit, it’s completely behavioral. An addiction, however, is a multifaceted disease that can’t be treated with little things like “pair a neutral behavior with good feelings”. That comes later.

We have to fill the void with warmth, love, and other humanistic components and try to understand the patient as a person. Don’t tell them why they shouldn’t feel depressed (what they have to live for, how many people love them, ect.), but look at them as a human being. Ask them their views on things like death, parenting, and the meaning of life. Help them find a purpose and realize that other people have no control over them directly, and that the only thing they have control over is themselves.

It’s much harder to make someone believe this than just telling them that over and over. They have to want to change. A little Hispanic girl once told me a joke that went “How many therapists does it take to change a light-bulb? One, given that the light-bulb wants to change.”